Forgotten
by kasswrites
Summary: Set during New Moon. Edward never came back to Bella. When she returns to Forks after four years of hiding out in Massachusetts, Bella finds things to be not quite as she left them. Was she ever really forgotten?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey everybody._

_So, this is my first twilight fic_

_It was inspired by Lolly (Lollasaurus Rex)'s fic for mediator, Flashlight._

_I don't own anything. Seriously. You should see my shoes._

_Anyway,_

_...Enjoy_

* * *

_**Bella**_

_Rock bottom._

That's what they call it.

I finally understood that analogy, as I sat on the bathroom floor of my tiny, disgusting apartment – the cheapest one I was able to find all those years ago – my arms wrapped around my knees, which were damp from the hot, wet tears that soaked into the fabric of my jeans. I started humming to myself distractedly, a melody I had forced to the back of my mind for four years. I accidentally broke the beautiful tune – which I still remembered perfectly – with a heart wrenching sob.

It had happened today – the one tiny thing that had pushed me over the edge.

"_Swan," he'd said in that stupid, twangy voice that I shuddered at more often than not, "It seems to me that your work has not been up to scratch lately." I had opened my mouth to protest, to defend myself, but he cut me off with a dismissive hand gesture. "Now, as the manager of this Starbucks, I am in control of who stays and goes." It was then that I knew. Oh, god. He was firing me. No, he was freaking FIRING ME!_

"_Mr. Clarke, I can explain. I just, uh, I have a personal, um..." I stuttered, trying to savour my stupid, worthless job. Okay, I know. Starbucks. I mean, how low can you get, right? But it paid the bills...just, and it was all I was qualified for._

"_No, Swan. That's enough. This is your three weeks notice, but I want you gone by tomorrow." The unshed tears started blurring my vision, so I ripped off my apron, threw it on the floor, and strode out of that damn hell hole. I hated that job anyway, I convinced myself. So why was I crying?_

_Maybe it was the realization. I had failed again. The job was horrible, but at least it was a job. I wasn't just failing at employment...I was failing at _life. _There wasn't anywhere else to go than to my apartment – I couldn't spend any money, especially since I'd just lost my job. So I trailed back to the dingy, grimy apartment building I had been residing in for the last four years. No, it wasn't home. Home would always be with Ed-_

_Nobody._

My phone's shrill ring alerted me that life was still going on, however many stupid memories I was caught up in. I snatched the phone from my pocket and held it to my ear.

"Hello?" Honestly, who would be calling me? The line was a little crackled – the person calling must have been a long way away from Massachusetts. I had moved here from Washington four years ago, after certain events that were easier to forget if I was far, far away. Massachusetts was far enough away, I had decided, and it was safe. There was no chance I would run into _him_ here. I heard a faint sound at the other end of the line and then a slightly crackled voice came through.

"Bella? Is this...Bella Swan?" Asked a very familiar voice – I had known it so long.

"Jacob?" I said, blinking in utter surprise. I heard him chuckle throatily, before he replied.

"Yeah. " His voice adapted a grave tone, "I, uh, need to tell you something, Bells." His voice was so different to what I'd remembered it – I hadn't heard it in over four years. I paused, concerned. His voice didn't sound too good, and I was afraid that something had happened. My suspicions were confirmed when he continued. "There's – look, uh, something's happened...to Charlie."

I dropped the phone.

_Charlie? Something had happened to Charlie?_

I snatched up the phone again and slammed it to my ear, needing more information. "What?" I asked in a high, breathy voice. "What happened to Charlie, Jacob?" He hesitated.

"He was shot, Bella." And with those four little words, my world fell apart. This was so much worse than losing a job, than ruining _my_ life. This was _somebody else's_ life. My jaw dropped and my breathing sped up until I was almost hyperventilating. I made some unintelligible sound that no translator could have ever made sense of.

"In the shoulder." Jacob continued, "He was working, and a hunter thought he was a bear, and..." He trailed off, like breathing was becoming difficult for him too. He seemed to compose himself with a long breath, and he continued. "He's been asking for you. He hasn't seen you in four years, Bells." I felt my face crumple in misery. No matter how much of a failure I was as a daughter, Charlie still wanted to see me. But then I realised something else.

"I can't-"

"Your plain ticket is in the post" Jacob said, as if reading my mind. I sighed in relief, but something horrible occurred to me. Jacob spoke up then. "And..._they're_ back, Bells. Just thought I'd warn you."

I froze.

_No, no no. They can't be..._ I thought, as the gaping hole in my chest ripped apart again after so long of mending it. I could hear Jacob's voice, but my mind wasn't registering the words. _They were back,_ was all I kept thinking. I hit the end button on my cell and started at the wall.

_**Edward**_

I had just come back from hunting, and was playing around on my piano that night. Emmet and Rosalie were lounging on the couch in the living room, watching television; Carlisle and Esme were seated in armchairs, thinking about their day and Alice and Jasper were upstairs when I saw it. At first I heard the surprised gasp from Alice, coming from the second floor of our large house. My hands halted instantly on the keys as I tuned into her 'voice'.

_Bella, packing suitcases distractedly. _

_Bella getting on a plane. _

_Bella arriving in Forks._

I gasped sharply, as Alice had done, when I tuned back into my own mind. Suddenly, she was in the living room. Everybody sat up, alerted to the tension coming from Alice and what must have been a horrible expression on my face. She looked over to me, silently asking whether I wanted to tell them. I shook my head – she could do it.

"What is it, Alice?" Esme asked in her calm voice.

"She's...Bella's coming home."

* * *

_Please Review_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey everybody._

_A lot of people said they wanted me to continue..._

_So here it is :)_

_Enjoy._

* * *

_**Bella**_

_I awaited the plane ticket with a sense of foreboding._

As crushed as I was about Charlie, I was still excited to be getting out of that disgusting place. It was good to look around the grimy apartment that I lived in and know that I wouldn't be living here much longer. I didn't wake up until 3pm the next day, having turned my alarm clock off. I guess that's what a full time job at Starbucks does to you. After downing a granola bar, I decided it was time that I packed my things – the ticket would be here soon. I found the huge red suitcase that I had used when I first moved here under my bed. Seeing it brought back a whole world of memories, and I unsuccessfully tried to force them to the back of my mind. A tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered the day I had escaped from Forks, not able to take it anymore. I had thrown all of my clothes into this suitcase, crying all the time, because I knew I would never see _him _again. I'd driven to the airport in my truck, not caring less about what happened to it, and boarded the plane that would get me away from that town forever. I cut all ties with my friends and family, trying my hardest to mend myself and start a new life.

But now I had to go back.

And worse, _he_ was there again.

He had assured me that day in the forest that I would never see him again, so what was going to happen now? Would they move away again before I came back? Or would they stay there and just hope not to run into me or something similarly stupid? I knew Alice would have seen me coming by now – the decision had been made – and I wanted to find out whether they were still there, or whether they'd run away_...again_. I redialled the last received call on my cell, and it rung a few times before I heard a voice on the other end.

_Hey, it's Jacob Black. Leave a message and I'll get back to you._

I groaned in frustration and threw my phone against the wall, instantly adapting a black mood. I looked around my apartment and let the tears fall. Why had I become so destitute and pointless?

_Because he left._ Was the instant answer to my thoughts. I sighed and got up after shedding a few tears, walking back to my bedroom. Upon opening my closet, my eyes skimmed over what little clothes I owned. There were a few pairs of jeans, shirts and some shoes. I had no problem fitting them all in the suitcase, seeing as I hadn't bought any clothes at all since I'd moved here. Once I was packed, I tidied my apartment, adding any items to my suitcase that I had missed.

By the time I was done, the apartment was virtually empty. I liked it like that – it was as if the last four years had never happened, and I just happened to be here for no reason. I could pretend that I hadn't cried myself to sleep every night, thinking not only of him, but of how horrible my life was. I could pretend that I still had a family that I was in touch with, and friends to confide in.

I could pretend I wasn't so alone.

* * *

The ticket arrived on Wednesday. It felt heavy in my hands when I collected it from the little post box that I was given when I moved to the apartment. The flight was for that night, so I decided to pack my carry on bag and get to the airport early. Anything was better than sitting around here, doing nothing all day. Once everything was organized, I hailed a taxi in the street and told the driver my destination. I couldn't believe it – I was finally getting out of there!

The flight was boring – as most flights are, but I was sleeping most of the time anyway, so it didn't really make a difference to me. As we flew over Forks, I was practically bouncing up and down in my seat. The reality of Charlie's injury had slipped to the back of my mind and I was excited about being back here – such a stark contrast to last time I had been on a plane, coming to Forks. And though I told myself I wasn't, I was just the tiniest bit hopeful about seeing _him_ again. I know, I was a fool. He didn't want me and he'd probably left forks by now, seeing me coming, but there was something inside of me that said maybe it was just a misunderstanding. Maybe he still did love me, and when I saw him again, he would explain it all to me.

Wishful thinking much?

But I would give anything to just see him again, to talk to him...

The pilot's voice crackling through the loudspeaker roused me from my musings, making me jump a little in my seat. "Good Afternoon, passengers. We are now landing in Forks, Washington. Please fasten your seatbelts."

Once at the airport, I collected my baggage and looked around for Renee – Jacob had said she'd be here. I skimmed over the hordes of family arriving from or going on holidays, businessmen walking around with their Bluetooth headsets in their ears, and customers arguing with the people at the service desk. Yep, I was back in Washington. The yelling of my name made me whip around and I looked into the kind, beautiful face of my mother.

"Mom!" I said happily, running to her and wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace. "I missed you so much." I said into her shoulder, not entirely sure that she heard me. Out of the corner of my eye, something flickered quickly, and I could have sworn that I saw a bronze head of hair whipping past as fast as _they_ used to run. I blinked – I _really_ needed an Advil.

"I'm so glad you're finally home." Said my mom. I looked up into her face and saw her eyes glistening with unshed tears. I quickly felt my own eyes filling up – I seemed to be doing so much crying lately – and I swallowed around the lump that had risen in my throat.

"Me too, Mom." I whispered softly, _"Me too."_

_

* * *

_

_I decided not to do Edward's POV in this one, because I wanted to leave it there._

_But he will be in it next chapter. _

_Promise._

_Please Review_


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm baaack :)_

_And so here's chapter 3._

_

* * *

_

**_Bella_**

"_So, what have you been doing in the _four years_ I haven't seen you, baby?" Chirped my mother's bright voice._

The question echoed in the small cab of her car, so the words were louder than intended when they reached my ears. The sunny, carefree tone of her voice seemed out of place against the soggy greenery that was rolling by, outside the windows of my mother's car. There was a light drizzling over Forks – not enough to make a sound, but enough to make me feel a disheartening uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. I cringed inwardly, trying to come up with a plausible situation.

"_Oh, yeah, Mom. After getting top marks in all my junior classes, I simply quit school, only to get a dead-end job at Starbucks."_

_Yeah, not good._

_Why had I not thought of this before?_

"Oh, uh...I've been working as a receptionist." I said with fake brightness, trying to make my voice believable. Renee's face instantly brightened, almost luminous against her auburn curls. She flashed as many teeth at me as possible, before averting her gaze to the road and continuing the conversation.

"_Wow._ Not bad at all. Where at, baby?" I blinked quickly, searching inwardly for a lie to her question. Where do people work as receptionists anyway?

"Oh, just a little neighborhood clinic." I said, smiling like my life had been a total bowl of cherries the past four years. A quick glance at her face told me that Renee was deep in thought; probably thinking of another few questions to interrogate me with. I sat there anxiously for a moment, hoping to God that she believed all the lies that were tumbling from my lips.

"And your love life? How's that going?" She asked cheekily, a suggestive yet knowing smirk playing about her lips.

I swallowed.

Hard.

Oh, God.

_How_ did I think I could do this? How did I think I could just come back, with no inhibitions, to this heart breaking little town, where so many memories were shared?

I had patched myself up, bit by bit, tending carefully to the gaping hole in my chest that gave me no release.

And now I had just gone and ripped it forcibly open again.

With my own hands; my own decisions.

I needed to be getting _away_ from this place; _staying_ away from this place. Not coming back again.

Especially, _especially_ since he was back!

I wasn't strong enough yet. Maybe in another four, five years.

But not now.

The old time music that was playing over the radio – courtesy of Renee's latest fixation – suddenly died from my mind, and I relived that horrible confrontation in the haunting forest that seemed so similar to the one we were passing at that moment.

He'd told me he didn't want me.

So why was I coming back?

_No, Isabella Marie Swan._ I suddenly had the courage to think._ You have as much right as him – as anybody, to be here. And you didn't even know. You didn't come back for him._

I looked out the windshield, in front of myself. The sickening feeling in my stomach dissolved slowly, and I had an astonishing moment of pure clarity.

I didn't even have to see him. I didn't have to explain myself to him. No doubt, he would make sure he stayed away from me while I was here, if he hadn't left already.

He was just _so good_ at leaving me; why not practice that particular pastime a little more?

I was definite that he would not try to come and see me.

And then again, why should he?

He had not reason; no desire to see the girl he didn't want anymore.

The knowledge of this should have killed me. It should have bent me over on myself with pain, the fact that I was unwanted. It should have made me scream in agony and claw at my face, as if to scratch away the evidence of a girl who was now dead.

But it didn't.

For some reason, the realization that Edward would not be cutting my heart out again comforted me. It allowed my tense, tightly bound muscles to slowly relax, sinking into the warm softness of the car seat.

I laughed hollowly, not knowing what to say to Renee's depressing question. I didn't have the will to lie anymore. I had run out of energy; like feeling completely spent after a bout of sharp, acute pain.

She must have taken my silence as some kind of secret I was keeping however, because after a few moments, she giggled a little. She hit me on the arm playfully, obviously not noticing that I was set in a solemn state of remembrance. "Ooh, who is it, baby? Is he good-looking?" she teased childishly, sounding faintly like a teenage girl. I shook my head, as if to deny her assumption, but she was assiduous in finding out whoever I was keeping secret from her.

Namely, nobody. But she didn't need to know how pathetically miserable my life was.

"Mom, no." I muttered, dazed by my own fragile state. She laughed once again.

"No, Bella. I'm not going to rest until I find out who this man you've been hiding from me is." She said, laughing while her words unintentionally laid yet another weight over my already heavy heart.

I was such a failure; I couldn't even secure a boyfriend.

Okay, there _was_ him, at some stage, but that was completely irrelevant. We all know how that one turned out, don't we?

I hadn't even been out once since I'd moved to Boston. I didn't see the point in it. It was such a futile task, making myself fall in love with somebody I'd only ever compare to somebody else. Somebody who was unequivocally superior to whoever it was I had set my sights on.

A loud mischievous giggle erupted from Renée's smiling lips, bringing me back to a state of alertness once more. Staring out the window, I saw something that made my heart jump, only very briefly.

Of course he would be in Forks! He'd lived here all his life.

Everything seemed to happen very slowly after that moment, as if I was watching my life as a slow-motion movie.

As I watched Jacob Black's VW Rabbit approaching Renee's sedan, I turned around to alert her to the fact that it was somebody I knew in the approaching car.

Only to find her looking straight at me, obviously still trying to raise an answer from me about my_ mystery man._

She was smiling at me.

Which meant she wasn't watching the road.

"Mom, no!" was all that escaped my mouth before she whipped around to look ahead of her again. Her features quickly froze into a state of shock and she grasped at the steering wheel as if it was a life line.

It was, if you think about it.

The swerving of tires and the sickening crunch of metal folding in on itself were the last two sounds I remember. I was thrown to the side of the cab, hitting my head on the glass window; effectively shattering it. A horrible, sharp jolt shot me forward, through splinters, onto something cold and rough, knocking all of the wind completely out of me.

And then I happily sank into a blissful, un-feeling death.

* * *

_I know I promised Edward's POV in this chapter, but I kind of just didn't want to work out._

_Reviews are love..._


	4. Chapter 4

_Okay, yeah, it's been ages. _

_I'm sorry._

:C

* * *

"_Bella? Bella, wake up!"_

I couldn't make sense of the choked, strained voice I was hearing – I had the most surreal feeling that I was underwater, moving extremely slow, my senses completely jarred. I considered my body with three short, painful breaths that burned my already sore lungs. I felt calloused fingers on my face, stroking hair away from my wet forehead. The soft touch seemed so out of place compared to the other things my senses were screaming at me. I felt the rough ground beneath me, hard and cold, making the gashes in my aching arms sting acidly. What was going on? There was no pain in death; I was sure.

Just oblivion.

Just black.

Just...well, nothing.

But not the intense, bewildering pain that was drowning me in torture at that moment.

It was nothing compared to what I felt when I opened my eyes, though. I forced my lids open blearily, not caring that they only made it halfway. Every part of me was hurting. Including my eyelids, it seemed.

Somebody's face came in and out of focus of my blurry sight for a moment, and the confusion made my face crumple in a severely painful expression. My already short breath hitched in my throat however, when my eyes focused on Jacob's face.

An incomprehensible wave of dread flooded through me when I realized that the oblivion I had been forced into before had not been death, but merely unconsciousness. The horror that etched itself into my veins was suffocating.

"No!" I moaned in misery, feeling a tear fall from a squinted eye. My mouth wasn't even able to say the word – it had been frozen in place, just like the rest of me.

My hand somehow came instinctively to my head and I was astonished to see dark crimson blood dripping down it when I brought it back into my level of sight. I jammed my eyes shut ignorantly; trying to force myself back into the wonderful void of unconsciousness.

"Bella, listen to me." I heard Jacob's voice...but it was as if he was shouting from far, far away. "If you go back to sleep now, you're going to die." I tried to shake my head but failed miserably.

"Let me..." I begged weakly.

"_You're going to die!" _He yelled, as if I weren't grasping the importance of his words. The force and volume of his voice made me cringe and whimper.

"...want to. Please let me go, Jacob." Was all I could manage in my severely feeble state. He fell silent then, with what I assumed was shock.

It was a while before another voice assailed my ears. A while in which I was sure I had died. I was grateful for the peaceful silence, as I tried to ensure I was sinking back into the nothingness of death again. I couldn't tell you how much time had passed between Jacob's plea and the new voice; it felt like hours had passed in the interim, but I was aware of the fact that it was probably only a few minutes.

"Bella. You must get up now. Do you hear me?" said a perfectly smooth, velvet voice. The soft, comforting words spilled from his mouth and wrapped around me like a warm blanket, and I basked in the warmth that they so instantaneously provided. I was sure that I was in heaven – because I don't think I had ever done anything bad enough to end up in hell. My being in heaven was really the only logical explanation as to why I would be hearing _his_ voice again.

I was confused momentarily however, when I recalled the clipped, pinched tone that had marred his wonderful voice. It sounded like he was saving his breath, so he didn't have to take another. But why would he have to save his breath? Why wouldn't he want to breathe? Unless I was bleeding somehow – that was the only reason he'd be trying to deny himself of air. I was concerned at the pain his voice portrayed, and I wanted to make him better. A low, guttural sound escaped what I knew as my throat, and I jammed my eyes even tighter together.

But then again...maybe I wasn't in heaven. Maybe it was the voices again. Maybe there was some kind of delayed reaction with the delusionary voices; I wasn't hearing them when I was in danger anymore, but afterwards instead. It was a possibility.

It was also a possibility that I was actually alive, still sprawled on the harsh, cold road, and _he _was here with me.

Yeah, and George Bush has an IQ of 200.

I decided to take the reins into my own hands, and find out the answers for myself for once in my pathetic, miserable life. I forced my unwilling eyelids open once more, and looked out at the scene unfolding around me.

All I could see at first was the sky.

It turns out heaven has the same sky as Earth.

Funny. I'd thought there'd be all kinds of awesome, pretty clouds and stuff, but yeah...nothing special here, people.

While I stared at the _intensely_ captivating sky, I heard a sound that was rather familiar to me. Two sounds, really. Simultaneous and frightening, they brought back another piece of consciousness that had slipped away.

It took a few delusionary moments for my logical brain to kick in, in all its logical glory.

_If I'm looking up at the sky...then I must be on my back._

I tensed my muscles, trying to sense whatever it was I was lying on. And sure enough, there it was, underneath me.

...whatever it was.

I shifted my gaze to whatever was ahead of me, beyond my feet.

Feet which I could not feel.

At first, whatever it was looked just like a white rectangle. But then my mind registered the red writing on the side. I didn't read it – I wasn't conscious enough for that yet. There were annoying red and blue lights flashing on the top of it, throwing everything into the same shades. It took a moment to click, but when it did, I really, _really_ wished it hadn't.

Tires squealing.

Siren.

Ambulance.

Blood.

Pain.

Car.

Swerve.

_Renee. _

When I remembered that last detail, I felt my consciousness return again, fully. Renee was here somewhere. I was alive. She was too.

...I think.

Getting up would have been impossible; I knew that. Contrary to ample evidence against the fact, I am not stupid. I forced what sounded like a strangled yelp from my aching mouth, which I soon discovered, was filled part way with blood.

The thought of blood alerted me to another fact; the voice that I'd heard before. I wasn't given much time to deliberate over it, however, as just at that moment, several paramedics rushed towards me, with a stretcher.

When they picked me up, oh god, I _wished_ I could scream in agony. But it would only make it worse. A small whimper escaped my mouth before I let myself be released, for the second time that day, into the void of nothingness.

* * *

_Reviews mean updates!!_

_Please review c:_


End file.
